I am the middle
of five children. We are close in age, with my brother the
oldest. I have two younger, and one older sister.
My brother sexually molested each one of us. It was hard
to say no when you knew that if not you, then your younger
sister. My parents would send us to do chores with him, and
if we tried not to go, we were the bad ones. He once turned
a tractor over on himself and broke his leg. We got yelled
at because he was alone - no thank God none of the little
girls were along. He had power over the whole house, treating
us and our parents any way he wanted. We watched them hand
it over to him. My father is an alcoholic and joined AA 25
years ago. My sisters and I are still waiting for him to make
amends to us for not providing us with a safe home, but I
guess it's not happening.
I was sexually active at a young age with other boys, and
became pregnant at 15. We married a year after my son was
born, and went on to have another son, then divorced. My husband
was the meanest, scariest man I ever met, and I was lucky
to get out alive. We were in therapy together for a short
time - when he baled out, I stayed, and became overly attached
and dependent on my therapist.
After a year with no car and only able to work part time
and not handling matters very well, I let my boys go live
with their dad's parents. I had problems during this time
with drugs and alcohol but did get that under control long
enough to marry again. That marriage didn't work either because
he was eastern European and we were too different. I was then
alone for several years and again had problems with drugs
and alcohol. I moved to another state, and determined to begin
a new life. I spent much time soul searching, and eventually
built a good reputation here.
I then was able to meet good people, and married an angel
who has given me a good life. We have five boys between us
and they are all adults now. I have had a good, rewarding
job for 10 years. My moods, while fluctuating more than I
would have liked, were managable. I had more problems and
always have had more problems with my memory of current events
in my life and misunderstandings with people in my current
life. Several months ago I had major surgery, and suffered
some stress from that which seems to have caused a bit of
a flare-up. I am feeling good today, and when I feel good,
I can't believe I'll ever feel that badly again. Then it comes
around again, and I can't believe I'll ever feel good again.
Thanks for the reading.
Back
to stories menu |
